Friday, March 2, 2018

I may not be your cup of tea.

My books are too dark to be Romantic Comedies, too funny to be Dark Romance, too old to be new adult (although books 2 and 3 my characters start as children). I'm a little bit of everything and so there is going to be some unlikeable aspects. My point in this series is to have characters who can fall in love after a life-defining moment of darkness.

Why do I write about the lower facets of humanity? Before I published books, I worked a career in EMS. Your worst day, was my work day. I saw the vile and terrible things that humans did to one another day in and day out. I dealt with the aftermath of a fifteen year old girl who was gang raped at a party while onlookers pulled out their phones to video. One of those onlookers was her sister. I went home and hugged my own fifteen year old daughter, making sure my girls know they have a responsibility to protect one another. Before retiring to bed that night, I wrote about that broken girl. I described her stoic face, her dead eyes. The green blanket she was wrapped in while she shook violently. I wrote about her clothes being inside out, her underwear missing, and her attackers throwing her in a field from a moving van.

My story was about overcoming the darkness of that life-altering night. A superhero who despite having had the images of her unconscious body, being violated, circulate the interwebs, she would be okay. My own psyche needed her to be okay. In my version of her life she fell in love and lived happily ever after. In my imagination, she is my Chrissy. I named her after a women who also has a quiet strength she never recognizes. I named her after a woman who tells me, I am the person she pictures when asked who the strong person in her life is. A woman that doesn't see she is, too.

In my career My duty to my patients ended at the Emergency Room door. I was helpless in the prevention of their pain. I was helpless in their recovery. My imagination though, my imagination was powerful. In the book InSanity all of Jacob's patients were one day on the job for me. The adorable little girl that got into grandma's medicine, the engagement ring choker, and the smell one doesn't forget, are all actual people. That night ended with a paramedic stabbed by his patient. For the woman wandering around nearly naked, with bare feet and a baby doll, I filled in some blanks. I gave you a plausible reason for telling me your name was bad kitten. I gave you a story. Nobody saved you in real life, in my imagination you found someone to love you and take care of you, but you were too broken. I had to give your happily ever after to the neglected children we found in your home.

I realize not everyone is comfortable delving into that kind of darkness. I respect the squirm and no thanks of some readers. Please know, that some aspects of my stories stem from real life situations in which I was helpless. I changed the outcome. For the superheros that need to know life can be what you make it. Understand, that my writing about your nightmares, was therapeutic for me. I wrote my wishes for you. For my readers, these are the stories I needed to tell. Just like in real life the darkness in my stories is lifting. Sanity's Edge is still true to the intent of the series. Two people defying their circumstances to fall in love, it is done hilariously. The series will end with a laugh.

If I am not your cup of tea, I'm happy for you. I hope you never know anybody skating the lines of Sanity. I hope your love is uncomplicated. I hope you never have to survive. I hope you never have to hold someone so they don't fall apart. If you're not that lucky, I hope you find a way.


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